Well, we had the BIG 10th birthday party on 10-10-10! I however,  have been unwilling to sit down here and write about it. Why?   Sit down, grab a cupcake and I’ll tell you.  Perhaps, you can learn from my mistakes and avoid feeling like an utter failure (dramatic re-telling).

The party, by most peoples standards was a hit. The kids had a blast and the birthday boy was overjoyed with how it all turned out.  Which in the BIG picture, is exactly what we, as mom’s hope for.

However, from the ‘designer/lover of well made things’ side of things, because I can’t even in my day-to-day life stop seeing things as a designer… not one thing came together as I’d have hoped.  There were a couple of things that lead to this.

I had BIG dreams and they were SO good! They were fun, unique & beautiful!  Alas.. I over thought, over did and over planned and in the end from the design side, the party was a major flop.  Not ONE of my ideas came to fruition.  Not ONE!  Now, granted, I had hoped to have help weeks prior to the party from my mom, but due to extenuating circumstances, she was unable to help.  She’s great at helping me make a list and then stay on track being sure to get it all done. This time though, I was on my own, which apparently I need some practice with, because on my own, I lacked focus.  Not having help was wrench number one.

Wrench number two was, I didn’t have a realistic perspective on time.  Work has been super busy lately and while this is a definite blessing, I was in a place with many clients where I just couldn’t take a break long enough to successfully throw a party of this scale or even gather my wits.

Inevitably, party day came and I was a mess!  By noon not one balloon had been blown up, not one cupcake iced.  Luckily my in laws were there & were an amazing help.  Not only were they willing to help while I took a much needed shower, they also tried to make sense of everything I had ready (and not so ready) to be set up.  Not a small task, let me tell you.  I never even got my camera out so I didn’t snap even one photo!  Again, thanks to my in laws for taking some pics so I have something to show you! The pics below are from our makeshift photo booth, even when I’m a mess, the kids looked great!

I did try to make myself feel better the day after the party by trying to arrange and photograph some of the things I had originally hoped to do. Which is pretty lame on a whole ‘nother level, but I was feeling bad.. thinking, “How did this look so good in my head and on paper and then come to this!?  I wasn’t actually planning on showing these to you so I snapped them with my phone, hence the poor quality.

Once I put a small section of things together, I got a glimpse of my original vision.. it could have been great! What a hard lesson to learn! Then I realized, perhaps, not one thing came together as I’d have hoped because I was hoping for the wrong things… I couldn’t see the forest through the trees and the ‘designing’ of the party became the focus, while the people, hospitality and love became secondary.  I feel so foolish admitting such a horrible misstep.

Since then, we’ve been going through a MAJOR life change. We’ve been getting rid of A LOT of stuff.  Paring down, simplifying…  We’ve had way too much stuff for WAY too long and my dear husband and I have come to realize that we are through with accumulating & being owned by ‘our stuff’.. this party was a turning point for me and almost made me sick to my stomach at the plethora of just STUFF! EXCESS, EXCESS, EXCESS!!!

This party made me realize what has been nagging at my heart for a good long while … that, as that the old saying goes (is it old, or one I just heard somewhere?) well, regardless, it’s one that’s stuck in my head…

‘The more stuff you own, the more your STUFF OWNS YOU!”

I’m grateful for the copious bags we’ve donated/thrown out since the party.  I look forward to continuing this journey of paring down, getting back to ‘the good stuff’ as we like to call it.  We’ve gained so much more than I could have imagined in terms of the quality of our relationships and life in general as we’ve let go of our stuff.  It’s incredible.

Does anyone else feel suffocated by stuff? As cute and whimsical as the stuff I’ve accumulated is, I’m so over it.  HUGE parties like this one are a thing of the past for me. I long for small intimate gatherings where I can focus on the people who make our lives great and not the details of a BIG, OVERDONE party and STRESS! Not to say that you can’t have a beautiful party, but for me, a beautiful party from here on out wont be built on over doing it.  I’m just done with that stuff.  At least for the time being.

My son had a great birthday, he knew he was loved, he got to share with his closest friends and the whole family came together to make it a great night, regardless of wether or not the designer in me was satisfied, the mother in me was and that’s so much more important.